Tuesday, July 9, 2013

So That's Happening

Skip to the bottom for TL:DR sum up!

Wow, I knew it had been awhile since I updated, I just didn't realize it was that long. Whoops. It certainly is a change from when I had my livejournal account and updated fairly frequently. Though a lot of it was ranting and complaining and thankfully that is a habit I have (for the most part) been able to break. Not just online but in everyday life as well. Whining and pouting doesn't really get a lot done. It's just better to find the positive in the given situation rather than focus on the negative. A hard learned lesson, that, but I think I am finally getting the hang of it.

So a lot of changes have been happening over the past few months and will continue to change in the coming months. I had the urge to blog about it immediately but decided to let it marinate for awhile first, let God speak through my crazy loud and very adamantly attention grabbing thoughts. I tend to be a very instinctive person and I act almost immediately when I get something in my head which, let's be honest here, is not always the best course of action. In fact, rarely is it smart to go, "Here is my idea! I must do it now!" Those moments are usually followed by sticking your foot in your mouth and/or eating a nice big plateful of crow. Sometimes both if you're really lucky!

For those few random people who don't know, I went down to Texas and Louisiana last month for about a week. To say it was nice being able to spend time with Jess, Adam, the kids, Ben....would be an understatement. I loved being down there and coming home was very hard for a lot of different reasons. Things have been slowly shifting in me for some time, God kind of pushing me in directions I was either ignoring or plainly telling Him were just not happening unless He changed my heart completely, as well as the hearts of other people. Pretty sure at that moment God was like:

It wasn't all that slow or gradual (at least in me), it was a smack in the face, okay let's do this thing! kind of change. Jess, Adam and I talked about it while I was down there and by the time I was back in New Hampshire I knew I would be back in Texas before long, and on more of a permanent basis.

See, for awhile I've felt as though I needed to move away, to go by myself and figure out who I am on my own apart from Heather. We've been best friends since we were nine, we've been through a lot of really crappy stuff together and we were each other's only constant far too often, and that's built an unhealthy co-dependent relationship for both of us. But she's familiar and I didn't want to leave that. I also didn't want to leave this amazing apartment and my housies because this has been the best past two and a half years! I found a church I loved, a group of women I felt comfortable being myself around, sharing with and learning from, really I couldn't imagine leaving any of that. Until I was in Texas.

Long story short, God changed my heart in a matter of hours. He took away the fear (and let me tell you, there was a crap ton of that!) and replaced it with excitement and optimism. And so a plan was put in place. Jess and Adam were more than willing to let me stay with them as long as I wanted/needed, I'd be able to get situated without being rushed, and look for my own place. I'd also be a heck of a lot closer to Ben who is stationed at the Barksdale AFB. Yes, it's hotter down there and there are days when the humidity is awful but everything is air conditioned and cost of living is cheaper. And other than my friends and Ben, no one else knows me there. I feel like I'd be able to start over and figure myself out as I go. And I am so excited and ready for this I can't even tell you!

The plan right now is to leave at the end of September, stay with Jess and Adam until I find a place (I'm thinking Tyler right now for some reason) but with the goal of being in my own place by January at the latest. When I said as much to Jess she laughed at me and said, "You can stay here as long as you want. I can guarantee you'll get sick of us before we get sick of you."

The one thing standing in my way right now is the fact that I don't have a vehicle. I'd like to have one before I move so I can get some kind of part-time job and save up a bit more than what my pony commissions bring in. Part-time is all my health can handle but it would be something. Then I'd be able to get a trailer and haul all my stuff down south when the time comes. As it stands now it will take a miracle for me to get any sort of vehicle, let alone an SUV like I'd love to have (more for moving purposes than anything else). Not saying that God can't do it because He has done much bigger things in my life. But I'm also not going to sit here on my hands and expect a car to just be dropped off at my door.

I am going to put up a button here where people can donate because I ain't too proud to beg, y'all. I'm really not. If you can't donate, you can't donate. I still love you, promise. If you can donate a dollar that's fantastic! Whatever you can. Honestly, I figure if I can get everyone I know to donate a dollar I could get a fixer-upper and that would be awesome!

TL:DR ~ I'm moving to Texas and need your money so give me all your spare change. ...if you want to, of course.

I'll update with progress on all of these front, be sure! And thank you in advance. And if you want to get together before I go, you have a couple of months. :D


Post a Comment


Diana Does Stuff Copyright © 2012 Design by Ipietoon Blogger Template